Preseason · 2026 Season

Power Rankings

Twelve rosters ranked off the 2025 playoff bracket and final standings. Disputed forever, updated when the season gives us a reason.

The Drop

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The Meta Intro Header

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Sorry We're Late. Again.

Twelve grown men refreshing this page like it's a court verdict. The rankings were promised Tuesday, arrived Saturday, and somehow the deadline I invented for myself has been violated for the fourth consecutive week. Scandals brought us together; scandals test the strength of our bonds. Anyway — here's who's good and who's lying to themselves.

Deadlines are a social construct. The Commissioner abusing his power, however, is very real.

PROMPTLY LATE4 DAYS PAST DEADLINEWRITTEN AT 2AM

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Lock of the Year

🎲 Andrew's 2026 Lock of the Year Poll

Andrew's Preseason Lock

Andrew has a history of dropping preseason locks (Rashid Shaheed Over 675.5 YDS, Tee Higgins Over 975.5 YDS). Vote on what financial gamble he needs to drop prior to draft day in Nashville.

Classic Receiver / Player Prop Over

WR yards or TD futures — the house style that built the reputation.

0% · 0

NFL Team to Make or Miss Playoffs

One franchise, one binary verdict, twelve months of screaming.

0% · 0

Regular Season Team Win Total Over/Under

Season-long sweat where a Week 18 rest day ruins everything.

0% · 0

Absurd Multi-Leg Futures Parlay (+500 or higher)

Chaos ticket. Long odds, longer group-chat aftermath.

0% · 0

0 league votes cast

This Week On Instagram

@poorrico

📱 Official Instagram Hub: Follow @poorrico for weekly power ranking graphic drops, recap slides, and commissioner callouts.

Follow @poorrico

2026 Preseason Rankings Graphic

Tier graphics drop on @poorrico first.

Instagram Drop

The Tier Graphic

We publish the ranked tier graphic to the league Instagram before the written blurbs go up here. Tag your takes in the comments — the best one gets quoted in the next write-up.

Follow @poorrico on Instagram Live ESPN League

Ranks 1–12

Seeded by the 2025 playoff bracket and final standings

Fetty KP

Hayes Linzer

—2/13

2025 champion. The belt stays here until someone takes it.

Won it all in 2025. Until someone knocks them off, they open at the top.

Injury / Scandal Report

Every roster in the league is being built to beat this one.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Title defense starts with the last pick of the playoff block.

2025: 1st • Champion

Tier 1 — Playoff Core

2025 CHAMPIONTITLE DEFENSE

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2/13

Sam Top Andy Bottom

Sam Drew

—3/13

Runner-up in 2025 and the most obvious title threat in 2026.

One game short in the 2025 final. Returns with the same core and a grudge.

Injury / Scandal Report

One game short of the ring for the second time in franchise history.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Returns the core that reached the final.

2025: 2nd • Runner-up

Tier 1 — Playoff Core

2025 RUNNER-UPTOP CONTENDER

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3/13

Colstons Cribb

Kevin Larney

—4/13

Third in 2025, one year removed from the 2024 title.

Third-place finish a year after the 2024 title. Still a top-tier roster on paper.

Injury / Scandal Report

Back-to-back deep runs with no ring in the second one.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Still drafting from the playoff block in 2026.

2025: 3rd

Tier 1 — Playoff Core

2024 CHAMPPODIUM 2025

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4/13

Scrub City

Andrew Imrie

—5/13

Best regular season in 2025, fourth-place finish to show for it.

Best regular season in the league, earliest exit of the top four.

Injury / Scandal Report

10-4 and the #1 seed, then out of the bracket early.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Regular-season seeding has not translated to January hardware.

2025: 4th • #1 seed (10-4)

Tier 2 — Playoff Field

#1 SEED 20253x CHAMPION

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5/13

Developing Year 😈

Poor Rico

—6/13

Fifth in 2025 and back in the playoff block for 2026.

Made the bracket and got one round in. Squarely in the middle of the field.

Injury / Scandal Report

Made the bracket, exited in the opening round.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Drafts 8th as the fifth-place finisher.

2025: 5th

Tier 2 — Playoff Field

PLAYOFF FIELDMIDDLE TIER

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6/13

Get Out Played

Dimtry Jean-Laurent

—7/13

Sixth in 2025 — last team into the playoffs, first one out.

Last team into the 2025 playoffs and first one out.

Injury / Scandal Report

Two years after an 11-2-1 season and a trip to the final.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Picks 7th in 2026 as the lowest playoff finisher.

2025: 6th

Tier 2 — Playoff Field

PLAYOFF FIELD2024 RUNNER-UP

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7/13

Ur Minced Meat

Philip Amesoeder

—8/13

Seventh in 2025 — first team out, best lottery odds.

First team on the outside. Top odds in the 2026 weighted lottery.

Injury / Scandal Report

Closest miss of the non-playoff group.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

35% weighting is the highest on the board.

2025: 7th • Missed playoffs

Tier 3 — Lottery Group

LOTTERY GROUP35% ODDS

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8/13

Folks RFC

Ben Ledoux

—9/13

Eighth in 2025 and second-best odds in the lottery.

Missed the bracket and drew the second-best lottery weighting.

Injury / Scandal Report

The Head of Punishment finished on the wrong side of the playoff line.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

25% weighting for picks 2-6.

2025: 8th • Missed playoffs

Tier 3 — Lottery Group

LOTTERY GROUP25% ODDS

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9/13

How do you like them apples?

Matt Quercia & Max Beati

Drafting From Home / Satellite Drafter

—10/13

Ninth in 2025, middle of the lottery odds.

Ninth-place finish puts them in the middle of the lottery odds.

Injury / Scandal Report

Co-managed roster looking for its first playoff berth since the 2021 title.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

20% lottery weighting for picks 2-6.

2025: 9th • Missed playoffs

Tier 3 — Lottery Group

LOTTERY GROUP2021 CHAMP

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10/13

Cincinnati Harambes

Kyle Aulbach

—11/13

Tenth in 2025 with thin lottery odds heading into Nashville.

Bottom half of the standings and thin lottery odds to show for it.

Injury / Scandal Report

Missed the bracket after a 2019 title and a 2022 final.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Needs a lottery jump to reset the roster.

2025: 10th • Missed playoffs

Tier 3 — Lottery Group

LOTTERY GROUP2019 CHAMP

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11/13

Igloo Nation Per Se

Graham Focke

—12/13

Eleventh in 2025 with the fewest lottery balls in the group.

Second-worst finish in 2025 with the fewest lottery balls of the group.

Injury / Scandal Report

A franchise with multiple #1 seeds finishing near the bottom.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

6% odds is the thinnest weighting on the board.

2025: 11th • Missed playoffs

Tier 4 — Rebuild

LOTTERY GROUPREBUILD YEAR

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12/13

It's No Longer Luck

Alex Ladd

—13/13

Twelfth place in 2025 — Sacko, and locked at Pick #1.

Last place, Sacko obligation pending, and locked into Pick #1 for 2026.

Injury / Scandal Report

Punishment enforcement is delayed, not cancelled.

Sarcastic Rule Proposal

Zero lottery balls; the constitution hands the Sacko the top pick.

2025: 12th • Sacko

Tier 4 — Rebuild

2025 SACKOPICK #1 LOCKED

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13/13

Drafting write-ups... currently running 4 days past the self-created deadline.